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3.9.2013 is the day we were torn apart literally ripped away from eachother.... I miss you i really do... I know we fought a lot and when we did it got bad. You hurt me really badly in so many ways that I really had a hard time trusting you. I have since that morning, heard many sad things that have hurt me further and made me wonder why you would do all those things like telling my parents my deepest most personal secret behind my back... And more people telling me you did cheat on me and also had a friend "spy" on me or try to get information out if me saying that I was gonna cheat on you or leave you for the father of my beautiful baby boy (who unlike you said would be fine not to worry he'd be safe) I am now fighting to keep from cps taking him away because of the situation you put us in on the morning of march 9th....despite all of that I hate to say I still think if you every single day... And I hurt everyday wondering why this happened and if you ever truly loved me... I kinda think the answer is no.... You always said I know I love you I'm waiting for you to know. I always told you I did know and the truth is I did know but you allowed me to start doubting myself because you'd always doubt me and say I was hiding things from you or keeping secrets. Like the night you threw my at the wall because you. Believed I was hiding things from you. I cried and screamed at you i wish you would look through it because you'd see the truth was I wasn't hiding things from you and you'd feel like horrible for ever putting your hands on Me again or ever doubting me.... Truth is I gave up everything I cared about in my life for you and am fighting to try to get back the most important ones still. I know you may never see this but I hope you do... Because despite it all I love you still. And I know I shouldn't but I can't stop even though I scream at myself and hate myself for still holding any kind of love for you.... The truth is that I do love you i always will... On my birthday I found out I was pregnant.... The news infuriated my parents the let me only two options discontinue the pregnancy or leave their home and lives completely...... You know I have no one else.... So I was left no choice... I hate myself every single second of every single day I exist from that day on the pain I feel is unimaginable you have no idea.... I know how to contact you i know the address where I can send you letters to inform you if this but I haven't been able to bring myself to do it yet idk if I ever will. I am do sorry.... I miss everything about you even tho I know I shouldn't. You probably wonder why I haven't come to see you and truth is I'm scared. Maybe one day we will meet again and maybe one day you will forgive me for the decision I had to make.... "and they say she's in the class a team been this way since 18 but lately her face seems slowly sinking wasting crumbling like pastries and they scream the worst things in life come free to us cause she's just under the upper hand goes mad for a couple grams and in a pipe she flies to the motherland or sells love to another man it's to cold outside for angels to fly..angels will die..... "
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