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To the beautiful lady that was behind me in line at around 2pm today... I sincerely apologize for that deep warm fart I casually squeezed out from amidst my nervously tightened butt-cheeks. I truly believed in my heart that it would be silent and wouldn't smell that bad. I know it was terrible. I didn't want to see the look on your face, but I could hear you gagging, although I could tell you were trying to do it quietly, as not to embarrass me any further than I had already embarrassed myself. I really did try to hold it in at first, but it became so overwhelming in my guts that I had to try to sneak that gnarly thing out. I'm just grateful that it didn't end up being more than big wet nasty fart. It could have been so much worse for us both. Fart aside, I still couldn't stop thinking about how perfect your hair was, and how on point your eyebrows were, and it just made me wonder to myself how perfect and manicured you may be other places... You reminded me of , if she was trapped in a dark fart cloud, desperately seeking rescue. Even though I guess I am techniy the villain in this scenario, I would still try to rescue you. I would love to see you. Hopefully I will run into you at that again soon. Maybe next time some or will be part of my purchases, in effort to avoid offending your senses again. I really am very upset with myself, and my lack of bowel control. I never meant to hurt you. Please reply if you know it's you, tell me which I nearly suffocated you at, and when where we could possibly meet. You stole my heart. Heart rhymes with Fart. I farted. You know that though. There was no hiding it. You're so beautiful.
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