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African American female here. I'm 19, a bigger girl. Fun to be around, laid back, goofy, ambitious, loyal, easy to talk to, non-judgemental. I'm looking to meet new people to do things with!! Race and looks don't matter to me, what matters is your personality and how well we get along. Please no creeps and don't be too old. Send a and a little bit about your self if you would like talk. I look forward to hearing from you! (:
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This is a true story. Maybe some of you know me. I was your friend. Your brother, your son. I was fun and caring. I smiled and laughed. But I was never your friend or your lover. You pushed me away and used me until there was nothing left. This is true.
My family I believe has some to do with it. Instead of being beaten on a regular basis, I was but not as consistently as I was detrimentally put down every day by my mother and father. My father attempted to murder my mother and I around my 13th birthday. I was ok with that. I mean we all die some day but my mother forgave him and thanks to a lot of money from family and other unnamable sources he was given a one month sentence. They reunited their marriage under the hatred for me and again began to belittled me. I played baseball through all this time. My father was the coach, but I felt safe out their on the field with my friends and their family but he still was able to mentally abuse me with constant pu-downs about my playing. When I tried for the high school baseball team I was cut from the team, not once but twice when my father told the coach to fuck him self for money donations to the team. I guess that's the price you pay for going to a private school. But as usual my father and mother turned their anger on me as if it were my fault for not making the team.
During this time I dated no one. How could I with the little social life I was aloud to have. I believe this hurt my confidence in socializing. By the time I was 18 I had only dated one girl and had only had sex six times. I followed her to school. K-State. Go wild cats! By the end of our first semester together she had left me for an older guy and I was lost. I drank my self into a common and awoke 1 month later at a hospital in Kansas city. After all the hate in my life and losing the one person for the first time in my life that cared for me, I took a bold step to escape my nightmare and joined the the U.S. Marine Corps. Shortly after returning from boot camp I met an amazing girl. I fell in love... She got pregnant right before my first deployment. I returned 7 months later to find out she aborted our unborn child. I was heart broken but I still loved her. Who could blame her. Us being young and the man that got her pregnant gone with a chance of not returning.
I deployed again. Same place. Same shit. But with confidence that I had something to return to. And hope to start a loving family... I did not. Through out our entire relationship she had been cheating on me with any one and every one. Including my brothers in arms. The guys I swore to fight along side and die protecting. Friends who I had known since my T-ball days... No one cared for me when I was a kid and in so much pain, no one cared when I was in harms way, no one cared that I loved her from half a world away. I gave everything I had to change my life and no matter how far I move, no matter what I do this is the life that has followed me. I have been single for almost 2 years now... I have tried/not tried. I gave up and just lived a life with out care but it is a terribly lonely life. I have been told I am a very handsome man, cute and sexy, yet I'm still single. I do not have a family to talk to. I do not have friends any more subsequentially to the lack of trust in EVERY one. I am alone. Because what I want isn't out there, or atleast not in this world.
I wrote this so that my story, my life could be remember. My family probably has forgotten me and I'm ok with that but maybe this could help some one else. My name will not be in the news, my fate had been sealed. I was born alone, I shall die alone. Semper Fi.
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Hey what's up.... ? I am Allen. I live currently in Indianapolis, IN.. I will be coming to live in Phoenix soon and don't know anyone. I would like to chat to someone before I get there so I will not be alone. I don't discriminate on looks likes and dislike. But remember that's cause this is a friendship. If you would like to make a friend and help him get around and see the sights, then let me know. I will be more than happy to send a few pics if you respond. I can't post pics from my cell . So hit me up let's chat.
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